KNIGHT AND DAY – A Review by Werner Herzog

On the previous evening a strange and foreboding event occurred. A great gale descended upon my home and brought with it the anger and fury of God himself. My dreams that night were filled with strange terrors. Nightmares that haunted me and threatened to tear all sense of identity and soul from my being. But suddenly, there was bright light in the darkness, a silver and white figure that radiated hope and clarity. I awoke from this dream and knew instantly who the savior in my dream was, and why he had chosen this moment to appear in my unconscious. He is perhaps the greatest entertainer, nay human being of our times, and this was to be the day of his new film’s release to the world. His name is Tom Cruise.

Who is this first rate, first take actor? This painter who lives in the desert? This dreamer who makes other men poets? I have followed his career with a holy dedication ever since I was first reduced to tears by his performance in Legend. His golden armor shone into the blackest parts of my soul and filled me with light. It was not Tim Curry’s “Darkness” that brought evil to the film but my own presence in the theatre, the blackness of my own soul, and it was Tom Cruise who brought me out of that darkness and has inspired my work ever since.

Knight and Day puts us into immediate proximity with our hero, as it should be. Tom’s feathered locks step into the frame and we are immediately at home. His presence is perfection, a walk, a manner without flaws. The tragedy of the film is that the other elements are far too weak for a hero like Mr. Cruise to deserve. My heart wept at the realization that even a radiant star such as Mr. Cruise would be forced to carry such lack of heart around him. It is unfortunate that so many elements, which could have polished the Cruise family crest to a brilliant lustre, threatened only to tarnish glinted silver. What misfortune that such a rare individual should be made to perform in a dog and pony show such as this. But nonetheless, Tom is a magician. A skilled craftsman who, with the arms of Atlas, lifts those around him to divine heights. The performance of a limp Soba noodle would seem riveting when opposite such a generous talent as that of Mr. Cruise. In this film, I was particularly glad to see the director respect the power of his star’s eyes, as they penetrate deep within our emotions. He looks into the camera at sunset and I find myself again in tears at the beauty of his honest face. Watching this film, as with so much of Tom’s work, I have learned a vital lesson about who I am and what my place on this Earth must be. All hail Tom Cruise. I do not wish to imagine, much less live in a world without him in it, so let us be thankful that for the present, he has once again shown us the way.

RECIPE CHALLENGE – Elvis’ Fried Chicken

So I love to cook, and even though my recipe challenges oft’ go agley, I can’t resist trying something new and seemingly impossible.

After trying NYC’s Momofuku Fried Chicken, I knew I had to find and master a recipe of my own. A friend told me of Elvis’ love of fried chicken, and how the recipe that his personal chef used was legendary, worthy of the taste buds of The King himself. Then I learned that none other than Google’s campus chef was the inheritor of said recipe, and cooked it for Google employees. What’s more, he posted the recipe on the Google blog for all to see!

One small problem, the recipe is scaled to Google cafeteria proportions – enough to fry 30 chickens.

Using this recipe calculator, I have scaled back down the recipe to what I think should be enough for 2-3 chickens.

So here it is!

Recipe Adjustment Factor is 0.1 Times Original Amounts

Chicken a la the King
2 1/2 teaspoons Thyme
1 1/4 teaspoons Oregano
1 1/4 teaspoons Basil
2 1/2 teaspoons Onion Powder
2 1/2 teaspoons Garlic Powder
2 1/2 teaspoons Dry Mustard
2 1/2 teaspoons Paprika
1 1/4 teaspoons Chili Powder
2 1/2 teaspoons Celery Seed
1/2 teaspoon Salt
2 1/2 teaspoons Coriander
2 1/2 teaspoons Cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons Kosher Salt
1 1/4 teaspoons Cayenne Pepper
2 1/2 teaspoons Black Pepper
1 1/4 teaspoons White Pepper

(The quantities below I scaled myself, rounding to what felt appropriate)

1.5 QT buttermilk

2-3 organic free range chickens (sectioned)
Mix these amounts of the dry ingredients together in a large bowl, then whisk in the buttermilk until it’s thoroughly mixed. Pour the batter over the chickens and marinate for up to five days – keep refrigerated, of course.
For Frying:
Now mix another 4x the above dry ingredients, and add:
1/2 Cup. cornstarch
3 1/2 Cups. all-purpose organic whole wheat flour Dredge the marinated chicken pieces in the dry herbs/flour/cornstarch mixture mix.
Fry the dredged chicken in a large skillet with hot peanut oil @ 375 degrees. Once chicken has reached a golden brown color, finish cooking it in the oven.
Now you’ll notice some problems with this recipe, not the least of which is you’ll be using every bottle of every spice in your pantry to pull it together. But a major one is also the vague line “now mix another 4x the above dry ingredients and add…”

Does that mean you multiply all the spices by 4? So I’d be using 10 teaspoons paprika for example? Or is it worded this way to reflect working in batches? 4X seems excessive no? Then again, maybe not.
Then it doesn’t tell you exactly how to finish cooking in the oven. What temperature, how to be sure it’s done, etc.
Also, unlike some other recipes, this one contains no baking powder or soda, and no eggs.
What I must do next is compare this recipe to others and fill in the gaps. Kind of like in Jurassic Park when they use genetic material from frogs to make dinosaurs – “BINGO! Dino DNA!”

A QUICK NOTE ON PRIDE

June 2010, and all over the world, we gays have been showing our pride. Today Manhattan will have its grand parade, as it should be.

As a very paranoid and terrified closeted teen, I was one of those people who looked at the parade with contempt, feeling that it showed the worst of the gay community – narcissistic, sex obsessed and promoting the most hated stereotypes. This was of course bullshit. It’s terribly important that we have Gay Pride. The world is still filled with all too many insidious superstitions, tragedies of backward education that continue to raise generations of fearful human beings who believe that violence is a solution. Having now participated in 3 pride parades, I can tell you that it is filled with wonderful organizations, looking to have fun, empower themselves through difficult times, and be a positive influence on society. It is nothing to be afraid of, and its spirit should be embraced on a larger scale.

I think that “Pride” is a model for a celebration that will one day encapsulate all people looking to show their desire to be compassionate, confident, creative and forward-thinking members of society.  A time to celebrate our gifts as human beings and the best we have to offer as a species. One day, perhaps in 100 years or so, society will look at human sexuality as a fantastically varied spectrum, and we’ll move closer to labeling ourselves as human rather than an ultimately meaningless subcategory.

In any event – show a little pride today.