Tag Archives: For Shame

FOR SHAME – Bisquick Edition

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I often pass this yellow plastic atrocity at the market, and have decided to finally take a stand against it. It’s absurd! It’s ludicrous! It is an incredible waste! Just look at it, all that plastic shipped all over the country filled with AIR! It’s barely 1/3 full with “pancake mix” which sounds like a job for professional cooks, but it’s just flour, sugar, baking soda, and baking powder people!

Who is so lazy that they can’t pull out a bowl to pour the usual boxed variety into? We have to manufacture this yellow plastic pancake watering can to save those 30 seconds? FOR SHAME.

FOR SHAME – Healthy Chocolate Syrup

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Wow! This ice cream sundae becomes healthy with my “Eat Rite Be Fit” chocolate (flavored) syrup!

Do you buy this stuff? Allow me to insult you! You ass! You incarnate disgrace of a being blessed with tastebuds! You brazen hussy!

FOR SHAME – It’s Not Food

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The following items are a disgrace to humanity and food.

Funny, I thought the only ingredients required to make a banana smoothie were, I don’t know, a banana, some milk, and some ice?

The ingredients in the packet are sugar, corn syrup solids, some sort of thickening agent, coloring, and artificial and natural flavorings. Whomever developed and marketed this schlock should be grossly ashamed and perhaps even fined for crimes against humanity.

NEXT!

This is a Belgian Waffle. Literally, it is a waffle, wrapped in plastic, and flown 3500 miles so that we can buy it for $1. What? People – is it so hard to make a waffle yourself? Even if you don’t have a waffle maker, was it necessary to fly them over from bloody Belgium? Is the Belgian flour so much different from our own, especially after it’s been sitting in plastic for weeks? How could it possibly be A) Not becoming stale and moldy and B) Still be good for you?

FOR SHAME.

FOR SHAME – Apple Edition

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Bet you thought I was gonna riff on iPhone 4 didn’t you? Well I will in a minute, but first, is it really necessary that my supermarket carry apples from bloody New Zealand?!

Shame on me for not reading the label more closely when buying them. How does one justify shipping apples 9,000 miles when New York State is renown for producing great apples? Sure they’re not yet in season here, but there’s got to be someplace closer. In fact, double shame on me, why am I buying apples when so many other great fruits are in season? Peaches, berries, etc.

I think it would be a great thing if supermarkets limited their selections to local produce available in season, and provided instruction on how to prepare what was available. Why can’t a supermarket be more than a giant pantry? Why can’t they be schools or community centers as well, being involved in the community to foster a more sound food culture?

Anyhow – how’s that iPhone 4 holding up? It seems Consumer Reports and Engadget, among others, have verified the dreaded “Grip of Death” for eliminating your cell signal. Shame on Apple for choosing to bury the story rather than offer kind customer assistance.

FOR SHAME – It’s Nuts!

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When you undertake a weight lifting regimen, it’s important to have a lot of protein circulating for your body to work with. Nuts are usually a pretty good source. As such, I bought a bottle of sunflower kernels, which I could eat by the handful throughout the day. The front of the bottle seems plain enough. Plain old roasted sunflower kernels, right?

Well have a look at the back.

Huh? MSG? Sugar? Gelatin? Corn Syrup solids? I just want nuts! For SHAME. The front of the bottle gives no indication that these are “flavor enhanced” seeds. Why can’t sunflower seeds be sunflower seeds? A little salt I understand, but aren’t they flavorful enough without needing to add MSG?

FOR SHAME – A New Regular Posting

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Greetings and welcome to the first of a new regular series, where I take advertisers, retailers, and marketers to task for pushing stupid, ridiculous, useless, wasteful, misleading, or otherwise crappy products, slogans, claims, and messaging.

The first in our series comes from my new local IGA Supermarket. Browsing the isles in search of some quality root beer (I was unsuccessful), I came across this:

If you purchase this product – please, move away to a remote corner of the Earth and never show your face again. Leave us. I do not want to share the streets with you. Your priorities are clearly so backwards that you should be removed from society.

Are there people out there that believe that because it says “Waist Watcher” (a clever way around a trademark) and “Diet” that it is an acceptable liquid to put in your body? That it can be incorporated into a “healthy lifestyle”? If you buy this product you need to be put into a Clockwork Orange-esque rehabilitation center. Your brain has been hijacked.